Calling a Potato

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I have often pondered over this existential question one too many times – Should we be completely honest with people? Should we really tell them what we think about them? Can we really call a potato a potato? A spade a spade?

Then I am defiantly thinking the penultimate – Did they ask my opinion in the first place? Or am I privileged enough to say my thoughts out loud?

Coming back to the worst – What if they were in a mid-life crisis and you exasperated it? What if you become a cause of their downfall?

It used to be so easy growing up. When you didn’t like something or someone you would just say it to their face, without giving it a second thought. You were naive, they were naive. Both the arrows would collide and disappear like it were some ancient washed-up war soap.

Now people get hurt. They start questioning their decision to come to you in the first place, and then you wonder if you were too arrogant, or impolite that your actions bothered them a tad much. Now they think you are an asshole!

They get offended so much that they would never visit, which is somehow a good thing.

Congratulations! You have just plucked out an unwanted element, an inconsequential person from your life. Now if you keep doing that, wouldn’t you, I don’t know, end up being only with all the good in the world?

What an exciting rambling notion! Only if it were that simple, or true.

When you are in your workplace, you are constantly surrounded by morons. There I said it! It is a perpetual churning machine of dolts that tries to give the dimwits a chance to survive.

There is diversity in the folly too. Some lie in the extreme. Quivering that branch is like deliberately chopping your hand off with an axe. How is that justified? How do you justify….slashing your own….never mind!

Some are manageable. They at least talk, walk like a human being. You can ask them if it is raining outside, without expecting them to jump out of the window.

Some would simply nod. They are my favorite kinds – “mind your own fucking business type” entities! Their conversations are one-liners, and they work, really work, because that’s what the true definition of workplace is, where you are supposed to work!

Then there are some who think the world is a happy place. That everyone they speak to is now a friend.

“Hello friend! How are you friend?”

I am not your fucking friend! Friend. What does that even mean? It is a hocus-pocus definition of a child’s idea of a person who will hold your hand and see you through to the end. No one, and I mean it, no one is going to die with you to make your end days pleasant. You die alone, and your death will be as disgusting and mortifying as your birth. The birth that you celebrate every year like clockwork as if you did someone a favor by coming into this world.

Mark my words – everyone will let you down. Primarily because they are all people. We are designed to give up on each other. Unless you have a pet. They don’t give a fuck!

Apologies for digressing. My bad.

Such friendly coworkers, they get on your nerves, and the worst part is that they are barely aware of it. I have shut myself up for crying out loud. Get a hint!

Then there are other giddy dunces, who try to sneak in on your hobbies to please you. You will forever fail to please me bro. No matter what you know, or what you do, it will never be good enough.

If you have the same hobby by chance, the only enclave of our conversation would forever fall within the walls of our leisure. You don’t try to sneak into my private life right after. Because I will forget you like I used to forget my homework.

The worst time is when there are people who don’t even get a joke. That’s when you begin to question your own existence in their patch of land.

Look around you mate! These are tamed animals, you are too wild for them. Whatever happened bruh? Why did you make such a blind decision?

Now if you find someone sharp enough to share at least a paddle of jest with, it’s a fair chance that you become an acquaintance, a very good one too. But their fraternity is only limited to the day you quit. That’s it! Another good camaraderie slaughtered by the hands of time and probably your greed.

But you go girl! You live your life!

There is one other gang that literally prick you in the eye. You know you put on a smile just to get past them. You venture out there in the world to get your coffee and there they are. The bunch of losers you don’t want to meet eyes with, but you nod anyways out of courtesy your parents taught you, or maybe you picked on your own to nullify awkward moments.

You know, now that I think of it, why do people run home the moment their shift is done? That’s not a harmless dash, that’s an escape. They are escaping from such ninnies, sprinting towards safety.

One thing’s true. Growing up has made me more patient. Forbearing of the multitude as they layer their mucky thoughts on me. But the real fact is, I don’t like it one bit.

I want to be able to say no to people without caring if my negation would ruin a douchebag’s day or throw them into a pit of self-pity.

I wish we could speak ourselves out without bothering about repercussions. Call people what they are, or how you feel about them. All day long, judge them, take a jab at them and not laugh it off in pretense, let your scorn hang over them as a constant reminder of what you are, fuck them over without regret.

Gosh! I have a lot of repressed emotions.

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