Oh, what have I done!
I killed the only man
Who could revive me.
I didn’t think twice
Before passing the judgment.
I am the sole handler
Who brought down the guillotine.
With a single blow, I wiped him
Off the face of the earth.

Hadn’t he only ever thought
The best of me?
Whenever I fought,
He let me win
Every war I made up
To fight for no reason,
While he only fought for one—
It was always me.

The vicious cycle of time
Kept chasing us,
Like he always did,
As I fluttered away
Into an alien arm,
Away from him.

The distance that I created
To stay away from him
Closed in on me
And made me scream.
His dirty hands
Reached out for help,
But I couldn’t
Bring myself
To get my new clothes filthy.

He spoke of age,
Old with wisdom;
My naive brain,
Too young to handle
His thoughts
Were wilder
Than a wildfire
That I doused
Before it could
Even have a chance
To burn my house.

Boy! Was he trouble!
From that wretched day,
I felt that I was wanted
He knew that I was wanted
By the denizens of my madhouse,
And yet he opened his arms
To find me another home.

When he looked up
Convinced of an answer
To a secret prayer,
I was a secret player
The fool knew nothing about.

He was so wrong
When I hit him
On the face,
But never so wrong
When he made me right.
For I deserved attention,
Even though I had none to give.

All his feral dreams
Talked of a fairyland,
As I concocted my escape plan
After his brutal massacre
To find someone else
I could keep
In my wretched heart.

As I lay silently,
Stifling my albatross,
I feel he was the only
Punching bag
I could have a go at
When I am feeling low.

But now this corpse is no fun.
My agony started
With his death,
Because there is no one
I can blame it all on.

Killing him was mistake.
He might find peace
Without me,
After all.

My! My!
What would people have said?
Were they to discover this beast
I hid him from the world
Under the pretext of protecting him.
He kept buying it,
As I lived my life
Without a care in that very world,
While he thought he was busy
Dancing with the Devil.

I played the Devilette myself
And stabbed him
When he wasn’t looking.

Yes, I murdered the only man
Who carried the power
To love me
For who I was,
For who I am,
And who
I will always remain.