Out of the most cardinal human chores, it is no mystery that eating remains one of those rudimentary purposes that clearly stand out. Primarily because of how it makes you feel, you know, when you put a morsel in your mouth, it’s the taste that keeps you going right? Not to mention the obvious – ‘hunger’, of course.
Our world literally revolves around food. So you could imagine the pain I had to go through when I had to feud with my very ability to eat.
During my three months of exile, I was not allowed to have cereals. I was strictly on a fruit diet. So, technically there was no meal. I spent days remembering the taste of food, all my favorite items, and the stuff I was gonna devour once I was out of it. I remember being mesmerized by the simplest of food items after my exile, blown away by the very taste of it. It wouldn’t matter if there was less salt, the very crunch of cereal in my mouth would suffice.
In contrast to that is today. I have ulcers in my mouth, courtesy of radiotherapy. Now I can’t taste food. Ah! The irony! Earlier I couldn’t even have food. Now there is all this food around me, but now I can’t taste it. Today it is still a bit fine, but some days ago it was really bad. I was in constant pain trying to pass food down my throat. It was so bad that I would scream with every gollop.
Come to make sense of it, it’s almost as if the universe is trying to tell me that I didn’t appreciate food enough, that every morsel should be appreciated. But that would be a blatant lie. Coz that’s all I did, I think, all my life. A big foodie, I have always appreciated food. Why would I be punished like this, beats me.
I crave pizza, burgers, and sandwiches. But when I get to have them, I only end up with regret – highly disappointed when my tongue doesn’t comply. Those otherwise tasty food items end up becoming mere globs of bland nothing.
Outside food remains merciless. They are always so spicy that my ulcers get highly fumed. It has made me stick to homemade stuff for quite some time now. I can’t find taste in anything. Only those tangled in similar situations might relate.
The only thing that makes sense is sweetness though. Some parts of my tongue allow me to feel it. Sweets are welcome. I have had so much sweet stuff in the past few days that sometimes I worry it might harm my body. Then again, it is the only taste that reassures me that food still means a thing.
It is true when my tastebuds bounce back, I would appreciate food more. In fact, I prize it even today. Every nibble counts. It takes me back to the crazy days to remind me of what I had missed, and that not everyone knows the pain of not having.
The absence of food brought me close to one major truth in life. Only when you stop taking things for granted, that you truly begin to cherish them.