Where did you go? Why did you disappear?
You have no idea how powerless I feel when I try to do things on my own. You used to be there, always dreaming alongside. Now that place is empty.
I can still think. I can still dream. But why did you give up? It is not the same when you don’t have a devotee beside you. Your nod and your steer had me going. ‘You’ kept me going.
Our talks would create beautiful things for the world. I talk to myself now, and they aren’t as interesting when there isn’t a soul to listen. Creativity loses its charm when there isn’t an audience to clap. I mean, what’s the point really?
These mammoth jobs have begun to feel mammoth again. With you, crossing hurdles didn’t feel a thing. Now I can see them in every step I make. They elude me, and I often give up. You used to give me the strength to overcome them. Now I am churning with impotence.
I loved how you were a mirror I looked myself into. We had brains that dreamt of things alike. We fancied glory and built imaginative houses of cards.
I think of all those times we walked together in life. From home to school, from school to home with your heavy arm across my shoulder; trust me it hurt and I was still fine. Summer days spent in playing, building routines to get the irritation of homework out of the way; we had our whole life planned on a wood pulp. Indoor games that had us forget we had a parting written somewhere down the line. Hours of daily outdoor fun; it was the time of my life. You bullying my bullies, you saving me as if seeing me hurt, hurt you too; we spoke of the same blood. You being constantly obsessed with my nose; look what you did.
What happened? Why did you walk away? Dreaming was the only thing that set us apart. It crushes me to see the gruelling path ahead. Knowing that I am all alone and by myself weakens my resolve.
I have to tread on, and there’s no one to talk. I feel the pointy gravel underneath my feet. I know. I know everything, but you used to take my attention away.
Where hid our stories? Where went our colossal plans for life? Why did you ignite me when you weren’t serious about life? You left me burning. You left me on. And then you put yourself out.
Where art thou brother?